30. oktober 2013

silver blue & emerald green

Thin fingers twirling in her thick brown shoulder length hair, her silver blue eyes fixed on something far away.
Something only she can see.
Her new shaved legs are dangling over the hood of her car, her boots leaving marks on the paint as she tamps to the music blasting from her stereo.
The cigarette between her lips glow like the sun when she breathes in and the smoke is thick like a cold morning fog when she breathes out.

I walk towards her, wondering if she notices me at all.
I lean over and remove the cigarette from her lips and put it between mine.
She smiles with her far away eyes.
She pokes me on the nose, "Smoking is bad for you".
I smile back and tell her "You are bad for me".

She reaches out to touch me, her fingertips brush my hair as I pull slightly back.

She stands there looking at me, I wonder what she is thinking.
Her golden curls are wrapped around her freckled face, every now and then the wind blows her hair away and I can see her emerald green eyes.
Her flower patterned summer dress brushes against her pale white skin.
Her toes twirl in her brown sandals.
I wonder if she likes my music.

She wants something, I can feel it.
I pretend I dont notice her walking towards me and I stare at the sky.
She bends over me with her tiny body and reaches for my lips.
She takes my cigarette.
I feel like laughing, but I hold it in and poke her freckled little nose.
"Smoking is bad for you", I say nonchalantly and she smiles;
"You are bad for me".
She is beautiful when she smiles, like the moon, stars, skies.

I reach for her and she pulls away, my fingers tingles as they brush her golden hair.

pale white.

I have this disease
and its ripping me apart.
not so much the disease
but the emotions that follow.
I feel like tearing my hair out,
replacing it with the sun and the moon,
tearing out my eyes, replacing the with the brightest stars.
painting my nails a purple I have never seen.
ripping off my skin,
replacing it with a pale white.


Dancing naked around a bonfire
trying to never forget who I am.
Serena. Serena. Serena. Serena.
I'm not her anymore.